One of those reasons why being a female is so freakin' hard

I wonder if it is as hard to be a man as it is to be a woman. I'm pretty sure it's not. I think their brains would explode if males had to deal with the anxieties, conflicting emotions and ideas, and general physical attributes of being female. Allow me though to narrow my scope, because I could talk generally on males and females for ages.
Women usually come off as crazy in the head when it comes to engagement and marriage. However, men do not understand how hard those subjects are on us women. It's easy for them. They think they should get married some day, but they should also buy a house and a nice car. It's just part of societal expectations, and they might as well. That is far from how it is for women. Despite how rational and how hard we try to not be like this, it seems to drive us. I cannot count how many cool women I have seen crying and losing their minds because their boyfriends will not get engaged to them. Whether it was the girl who freaked because her boyfriend claimed he would a ring and then bought a motorcycle, the girl who kept hanging in there waiting saying he would be ready as soon as the next big event in their life happened while she became more and more depressed, or the girl who grew more angry and bitter and called him awful names when she was drunk because he failed to propose in the time period he said he would, I have seen cool girls go crazy.
It's not our fault. We can't help it. It doesn't matter how deeply we don't want to be like this and it doesn't matter how many times feminism tells us we don't need someone. Somewhere deep inside we know the truth. Feminism or not, our society isn't built for women all alone. The tv shows and movies remind the women they need someone. The economy and finances remind women they should not be alone. The job markets remind women they should be with someone. It's even in politics. It is getting easier and easier to name really cool women politicians, but is still impossible to name one who is single.
It's even deeper than that. I was reading the first chapters of Genesis the other day, and there it is. The stupid curse for the first sin, and women are not just given painful childbirth, but also a longing for her husband. It's part of a curse! Fuck! We're doomed. We are cursed to want a husband and to want our husbands to notice us and love us and pay attention to us, and it's a stupid curse. That means we probably won't be getting that. Just take a second to let that depressing thought play in your head for a second. We're cursed. A curse? How can you fight a curse? Sigh.
So, it's not my fault I woke up anxious and soon went to weeping. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year in two days, and I have been ready to be engaged for months now. I let it slide though, because I thought that if nothing else, this would be a great weekend opportunity for him. We will be out of town in a nice hotel for a sweet concert. But this morning I suddenly knew it isn't going to happen. All those months of hoping and resting my worries on this weekend. Now it is here and it won't happen. I mean, maybe it will, but I just really don't think it will.
I freaked and cried and thought about all those things I just wrote about. I realized that maybe characters in the Awakening or in Ibsen plays may be able to walk away from relationships, but the curse is still in them. Those women can be independent and will still long and be miserable. There is no escape.
So, I have gotten it out of my system. Now I will go back to being that fun, cool girl who doesn't seem to care and keeps pretty chill about the whole subject. If I get engaged this weekend, sweet. If not, well, at least I already got to cry about it. Now I don't have to ruin a perfectly good concert.