Brklln asked me if I had any negative response to the elopement...and it got me thinking. Okay, you know those people in your life who should be close to you, but usually aren't? Say a brother, sister, high school best friend, or something like that? You know that you could be close, and you should be, but stuff happens... You get busy, you are working a lot, you have some stuff to do, you'll call next week, well maybe the week after that...but gosh it will be a long phone call, maybe later....
Okay, so most people were really happy for us and our decision. And lots of people totally got it, and those who were a bit hesitant in their reaction (they thought we were joking or something...) really warmed up when we took the time to explain why we did the whole thing. The only people who have been a little distant and awkward about it are the in that category of people who should be close. They think we are joking and they need some time to think about it and never really call us back.
I totally hadn't thought about it until Brklln asked her question, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. These are the people who felt they should have known instantly. But we didn't tell people ahead of time, except my parents. But they live in town, and they would have figured it out. Plus, we needed them to watch the dog while we went to do it. And we wanted some feedback on if this was a good or horrible idea. On top of that, feuds with my parents devestate me. Oh, and my mom's a bit psychic and she would have known and it would have really caused some commotion. Okay, so only my parents knew.
Anyway, so these people seem a little put-out by our decision, but I think it's really that it is a subconscious wake-up call that they aren't as close to Cam (or me, but actually most people who have known me aren't that surprised...) as they thought they were. They are suddenly facing that Cam can do things they don't expect, keep a big secret, and not tell them everything. So, they don't totally get it, but the uncomfortable feeling has nothing to do with Cam and I, it has to do with their relationships and a subconscious push to examine them.
Eh, just a theory.
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2 comments:
maybe it's not so much that they're not as close as they thought they were... they thought they'd be a bigger part of the wedding - ie are any of them groomsmen/bridesmaids - and now because you've done the big deed, it won't be the same to them.
my sister's brother-in-law and sister-in-law got married without anyone knowing except the AF, their parents, my sister and brother-in-law...Then a year later, they got "married" again and pretended that it was their first time - and those of us that do know the truth are made to 'keep quiet' about it, so as not to tarnish the 2nd wedding. If you guys hadn't told anyone, and pretended that the 2nd wedding was the real one, then maybe they wouldn't feel so hurt about it.
Okay, that's fair, and we thought about that...but we also realized that if someone found out accidently, this would be a huge problem. This is the kind of thing that could cause a major family feud. These people are still involved in the wedding, and it seems better for them to know the truth and be part of our lives than to be up there in a lie...I don't know, the whole thing is tricky and ladden in subtlety...
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