I am the only person I know to has been nicely asked to step down from my position of bridesmaid. She has her reasons (that she now regrets) and I have my jokes, but still, I am alone in this. I know that somewhere, someone has been kicked out. I just happen to be the only person I know who has.
Now, I am also the only person I know who has had bridesmaids drop out of my wedding. I am up to 2/5 dropping out. I am down to 60% of my bridesmaids. It's weird.
I haven't been a bridezilla, I swear. I know every girl claims that, but I swear it's true. I picked the colors of the wedding, but had the bridesmaids (the very ones who dropped out) pick out the dress company. We picked one that was flattering for everyone. I let them pick out their own dress styles. That way they could go with what was closer to their price range and also what looked flattering on them. When they asked if I minded if they picked this one or that one, I always answered, "Whatever will make you feel pretty." I also was allowing them to pick their own shoes, silver please. Do you know how many silver shoes their are? Thousands. They could pick high or low, cheap or expensive, fancy or simple. It was all their choice. Did I mention I let them pick which of the two wedding colors they would wear?
I have asked them to do nothing. I don't expect a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, I didn't expect one before I eloped. Most of my bridesmaids are in different states or countries. I was never going to ask them to stuff envelopes, to help me with flowers, or anything like that. I asked them to wear a pretty dress and stand in pictures with me. I asked for them not to get me a wedding present, but I was planning my present to them.
Only one bridesmaid has a good reason to drop out. She's pregnant. She will give birth a month or two before the wedding. She has no idea what size she will be, if she will be able to get a passport for her baby, and worries about lactating through her dress. She's still in it.
Second best reason to drop out: money. Neither has cited this as a reason.
In fact, neither has called Cam and I to tell us they dropped out. Cam's best man let us know that his family and friends in Canada have been talking and told each other they were dropping out. They haven't told us, and they haven't told us why. These two cousins of Cam's, plus a couple of the groomsmen, have decided to drop out.
I'm trying not to take this whole thing too personally. It sucks.
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2 comments:
I'm sorry sweetie. That really sucks.
Atleast they're not doing to you what my cousin's bridesmaids (except me) did to her...
One was telling her that she wouldn't be in the wedding at all if she were to even spend the night at her fiance's house before the wedding...
One was spreading rumors and lies that resulted in my cousin's parents and siblings not showing up at the wedding... and had her (the maid of honor's) mom call Jess and read her the riot act 3 days before the wedding.
It was a miracle that the wedding even happened. Hopefully, you'll find more supportive people to represent with you before September! Or atleast get to the bottom of things with the ones you've already selected.
Oh and now that I read your other posts (my blogger didn't tell me about some of the other ones)...
They're probably thinking that it's more of a reception/party now rather than a wedding ceremony. What they probably don't realize is that in a lot of states/counties/etc. You have to have the legal documentation first, before you actually get married -- so technically when you have a ceremony (whether it be outdoors or in a church, etc) you're already married. Typically done within the same week as the actual wedding ceremony...Yours is just further out than the legality part of it all.
I would call them up and ask them point blank, myself, what is going on and find out why it is that they feel that it's fun to take away from your wedding ceremony day...Since they haven't all told you that they're pulling out, maybe there is just disention amongst the ranks and they just want to look cool to the others "Oh yeah, I'm not going to be in it either, because they're already married"... etc. It could also be a misunderstanding of cultures, since they're Canadian and you're American...
Heck, I'm pulling all of this out of my ass...best bet would be to stop stressing, and call them up and ask them what's going on, get to the bottom of it. Don't get bride-zilla on them, and don't stress out about it. You're married, you love each other, and you're going to have a magical, beautiful day -- whether they choose to be a part of it or not, that's their problem.
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