Speech #10

I feel like I have been in Toastmasters forever. It's been about two years, but the first year we weren't a chartered club, since we were trying to start one up. It was hard to get much done that year, because we were constantly just trying to find a location, or get people to join, or get people to stay, and to figure out what we needed to do since we didn't have any of the books or the paperwork.
This last year it has been easy. We found a solid location, and people just keep flocking to us. It's awesome. (And it looks good for me, because I was club president. I didn't do anything that caused this growth, I just happened to have a fortunate time to be president. I'm like that, I have a Midas touch for these things.) And now, we are one speech away from becoming A DISTINGUISHED CLUB. It's a big deal. And that speech...well, it's mine. I am one speech away from becoming a "Competent Communicator." And we are one CC away from being a DISTINGUISHED CLUB. (Once again, it's a big deal.)
I've been procrastinating this speech forever. It's usually hard to come up with topics, and this one is super hard. I have to give an 8-10 minute inspirational speech. The problem is, I don't believe in inspirational speeches. I am cynical, and think the idea of being inspired by a speech is absurd. I think you are retarded if you follow your emotions and get caught up in a speech. I also an a contrarian by nature, so I naturally tend to not get emotionally involved in inspirational and motivational speeches; then I would be doing exactly what they want.
So, how do I write an inspirational speech when I don't even believe in them?
Option 1. Become a liar. Pretend to be sincere, use hundreds of cliches. Talk about how we can all become better...whether working on our Toastmaster speeches or doing our best at work. Lie. Basically, be a politician.
Option 2. Kind of lie. Say that I never believed in inspirational speeches, but I also never believed in true love. Yet, I have found that both actually exist. I am so touched, I feel the inspirational change...I do believe in fairies, I do, I do!
Option 3. I can give a speech for a different occasion....the book says that if I want, I can pretend I am giving a graduation commencement speech or something, I just need to have that stated in the introduction. So, option 3., make a giant joke of it. Cam and I decided that if I could come up with a fictional environment to give a speech, then why not do it right? I will give a speech that takes place in an alternate universe, where the year is 2214, everyone has flying cars, and yet women don't have the vote. Inspire them to vote. And maybe free the slaves. (That may be the best way to make sure I am not re-elected as president next year.)
Option 4. Turn it into work practice. Give a speech where I inspire kids to do something with their life, whether it be Job Corps or just graduating high school. At least I would be taking it seriously and I wouldn't be a total liar.
Option 5. You tell me. Or tell me what you think about the previous 4. (I [probably won't do Option 3, but it sure makes me laugh.)