Let's Go A-Maying (Let's go do it in the woods!)

It's May Day, which still only means one thing...it is the pagan time to celebrate Spring. And of course, I am no pagan, but I can appreciate lots of things...like sex. Yeah. So, in honor of Spring, pagans and May Day, let me present the 1891 Robert Herrick poem about May Day, with special translation...

GET up, get up for shame (know what else gets up in the morning? erections), the blooming morn
Upon her wings presents the god unshorn (as in not sheared...and where could the god be all hairy and not trimmed...maybe the pubic area...yeah, old poetry is gross).
See how Aurora throws her fair
Fresh-quilted colours through the air : (she is totally stripping)
Get up, sweet slug-a-bed, and see
The dew bespangling herb and tree. (the dude is trying to get his girl out of the bed and outside for some kinky may day lovin')
Each flower has wept (think discharge) and bow'd toward the east (bow'd like going down...)
Above an hour since : yet you not dress'd ; (naked)
Nay ! not so much as out of bed? (but in bed, out of bed...who cares, let's get it on....)
When all the birds have matins said
And sung their thankful hymns, 'tis sin,
Nay, profanation to keep in, (you also have to come out...)
Whereas a thousand virgins on this day (virgins...giggity-giggity)
Spring, sooner than the lark, to fetch in May.

Rise (Rise, erection, rise!) and put on your foliage, and be seen
To come (cum) forth, like the spring-time, fresh and green,
And sweet as Flora. Take no care
For jewels for your gown or hair :
Fear not ; the leaves will strew
Gems in abundance upon you : (don't dress up, cause we are just going to get naked and roll around in the grass and moss)
Besides, the childhood of the day has kept,
Against you come (cum), some orient pearls unwept (we all know what a pearl necklace is...this dude's dirty) ;
Come (cum) and receive them (receive the "pearls") while the light
Hangs on the dew-locks of the night :
And Titan on the eastern hill
Retires himself, or else stands still
Till you come (cum)forth. Wash, dress, be brief in praying :
Few beads are best when once we go a-Maying. (have sex in the woods)

Come, my Corinna, come ; and, coming, mark (cum...cum...cuming)
How each field turns a street, each street a park
Made green and trimm'd with trees : see how
Devotion gives each house a bough
Or branch : each porch, each door ere this
An ark, a tabernacle is,
Made up of white-thorn neatly interwove ;
(getting distracted...so much coming earlier...you will have to trust me that it translates to gigggity-giggity)
As if here were those cooler shades of love.
Can such delights be in the street
And open fields and we not see't ?
(doing it somewhere exiting is hot, but the street isn't sexy and likely to get you arrested...the meadows are safer and still scandalously sexy)
Come (cum) , we'll abroad ; and let's obey
The proclamation made for May : (do it)
And sin no more, as we have done, by staying ;
But, my Corinna, come, let's go a-Maying. (we are insulting May and Spring by staying inside, we need to celebrate and welcome Spring...by doing it)

There's not a budding boy or girl this day
But is got up (did I mention erections?) , and gone to bring in May.
A deal of youth, ere this, is come (yeah, young people cum)
Back, and with white-thorn laden home.
Some have despatch'd their cakes and cream (the lesser known hip hop song from the 1890's...you know the one...
cake and cream,
I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend,
Gettin' freaky in my carriage limousine
It's even better when it's with ice cream
Know what I mean...)
Before that we have left to dream :
And some have wept, and woo'd, and plighted troth,
And chose their priest, ere we can cast off sloth : (yeah, some miserable people aren't going to get freaky in the woods today)
Many a green-gown has been given ;
Many a kiss, both odd and even : (yup, lot's of making out)
Many a glance too has been sent (and checking each other out)
From out the eye, love's firmament ;
Many a jest told of the keys betraying
This night, and locks pick'd (locks pick'd...remember in Ghostbusters the sexual innuendos of key-master and gate-keeper, yeah it's that same idea), yet we're not a-Maying. ( (Let's get it onnnn.....!)

Come, let us go while we are in our prime ; (you are not getting any younger)
And take the harmless folly of the time. (sex is so not the worst thing you can do...)
We shall grow old apace, and die
Before we know our liberty.
Our life is short, and our days run
As fast away as does the sun ; (you are not going to live forever, better have sex in the woods while you are young and still can. you are going to die, and who wants to die a virgin...let's do it!)
And, as a vapour or a drop of rain
Once lost, can ne'er be found again,
So when or you or I are made
A fable, song, or fleeting shade,
All love, all liking, all delight
Lies drowned with us in endless night. (giggity-giggity)
Then while time serves, and we are but decaying,
Come (cum) , my Corinna, come (did I get around to mentioning every reference to come is a reference to the sexual act of orgasm? it is.) , let's go a-Maying (DO IT IN THE WOODS!).


Now, don't you feel educated and a little aroused. Sorry, my hubby is still at work, and momma needs her sugar.