The Board: coming soon to a movie theater near you

I didn't realize that I was saying it like that. But in a discussion with Cam a few nights ago, he made it obvious that I spoke of the Board in the same sort of tone that one talks about "the man." I started to realize that I kind of sound like I'm in some sort of John Grisham novel turned into a movie starring Michael Douglas when I speak of them.
It makes sense. Most people never see them, very few know their names. Yet they operate the non-profit with an incompetent iron fist. They know nothing of the place they control, most have never seen it in operation, some do not even know what the programs we run are. And yet they have the control...they control the pay, the job responsibilities, the events, the publicity, the...well, they are trying to make it everything.
Now for a quick lesson on non-profits and boards...

1. It is a law that every non-profit must have a board. This is intended to hold the employees fiscally responsible. No financial move is to be made without the board's consent.
2. Their dealings are to be transparent. Every meeting must be documented, minutes written and available at any time. You should be able to walk into the door of your favorite non-profit and demand lots of papers, and they have to give you anything and everything.
3. They are intended to provide leadership for the organization. Part of this is going out into the community and creating good will. Part is fundraising.

Our board doesn't do those things. We do have a Board. They meet. Behind closed doors and without record. They don't fundraise, they don't provide leadership, they don't do good things in the community. Pretty much, they sit there for a while in order to feel a power trip while pretending to do a good thing, because they are on a board for a non-profit.
Seriously. These people suck.
Oh, and one is schizophrenic and totally crazy. (He will call, and when I ask who is speaking, he identifies himself as "Psycho." He calls himself Psycho? He does have problems.) And another one, well, I spend a lot of days how she even manages to find her way to her front door without getting lost.

Oh, but hey, good news. I have the only gynecologist in the world who hates vaginas. That woman will do anything to not look at them...including record setting pap smears. I think I clocked her at 12.6 seconds today.