Good news! I'm psychic! But it turns out that I am the lamest psychic in the world.... A super boring psychic. Turns out I have dreams about the most boring parts of my day before they happen. In my dreams I find out that I will have unexpected housework to do or I get to read my junk mail while I sleep, and then I read it again when it arrives in the mail. I will dream of reading a Bed, Bath & Beyond flyer in great detail and will be so bored of my dream that I can't even stand it, and then get it in the mail the next day and read it all over again, except with a nasty memory of having done it before.
Or I will dream of how the sponge I am using for my dishes is starting to stink and how I need to switch sponges. I will dream of the very sponge I will pull out, picturing every bit of lint upon it, and it is the last one in the drawer, and then dream of washing all the sponges and rags in my house. Next day, what happens? I get to live through the whole boring experience again.
So, there you have it. I'm psychic, but the most boring, worthless psychic ever. I can't figure out lotto numbers and I can't solve crimes. I can't sell my ability, because who cares what housework they are going to do the next day? Although it is eerie that I can predict it all down to the slightest details, it is absolutely useless. They definitely are not going to make a tv show about this kind of psychic, I won't even end up on A&E specials about psychics. I just get tortured by living dull events over and over again.
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